


Been Through Hell

by writing_and_procrastinating



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/M, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-16
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2019-05-24 02:35:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14945993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writing_and_procrastinating/pseuds/writing_and_procrastinating
Summary: After your friend gets kidnapped and you have to detach yourself from the case, you get a little too much involved.





	1. Part I

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first part of three. Hope you enjoy :)

You anxiously fiddled with the hair tie around your wrist as the jet prepared to land in Portland. Several women had been kidnapped and found dead 5 days after their abduction, the last woman had been found earlier that day after she had gone missing on Wednesday. You were nervous about the new case since the victimology perfectly applied to a good friend of yours, who happened to live in the area the abductions took place.  
“Hey (Y/N), everything alright?” you heard the gentle voice of JJ, who was sitting opposite of you.  
“Yea, just a bit nervous…,“ you replied with a slightly shaky undertone in your voice.

Two hours later, you all stood in front of the local sheriff, introducing yourselves and then being guided into a secluded room where you could analyse collected evidence, deducing the unsubs MO. The room was filled with whiteboards, the table in the middle of the room covered with files and papers for the case while the glass walls gave you the illusion of an open office. After all the equipment was set up, Emily quickly told everyone what to do next.  
“Matt and JJ, you drive to the apartment of the last victim, Eliza Novak. Tara and Rossi will go to the morgue and talk to the coroner. Reid and (Y/N), you’ll see if you can find anything out about the geographical pattern and its relation to the unsub. Luke and I will talk to the sheriff and see if we can get more information about the victims and their families.“ 

The different members of your team separated while Spencer and you stayed behind and began reading through the files, collecting material for a geographical profile. You tried to focus on the task at hand but you couldn’t quite focus since you were worried about your best friend.  
"Hey (Y/N)?”-you looked up and met Spencer’s brown eyes-“you seem a bit unfocused. Is everything okay?” he asked you, concerned about your well-being.  
“Yea…well, actually, no. A good friend of mine lives here and she perfectly fits the victimology…,“ you trailed off.  
"Well…the others will be back soon. Maybe you can call her then?” Spencer suggested and smiled softly at you as you nodded your head in response.

As soon as everyone was back at the station you decided to quickly ask Emily if you could make a private call concerning a friend of yours.  
“Sure. But try not to take too long, okay? The team needs you here,” she responded and walked to the rest of the team while you confronted the sheriff.  
"Excuse me, Sir? Do you have a room I could use to make a phone call?”  
“Yea, sure. Follow me.” The room he led you into was opposite of the one where the team was in discussing what they got. After the sheriff left, you took out your phone and called your friend.  
“Hi, you reached the voicemail of Isla Thompson. Please leave a message or send me a text. I will get back to you as soon as possible.”  
After silently cursing to yourself you settled on calling her landline as well but nobody picked up the phone.  
Alright let’s try something different, you thought to yourself and decided to call her mom. As you waited for her to pick up the phone you leaned against the wood table standing in the room.  
“Hello? Sarah Thompson here.” You sighed in relief and answered her.  
“Hey, Sarah. It’s (Y/N).”  
“Oh, (Y/N), sweetheart. It’s so good to hear from you again. How are you?” the sweet voice of the woman sounded through your phone.  
“Erm, yes, I’m fine. Listen, I know this may sound weird but…do you know where Isla is? I can’t reach her on her mobile phone,” you asked while staring at the ground, your head filled with worried thoughts.  
“No, sorry, sweetie. But she did say that she’s pretty busy with her publishing and writing at the moment. Maybe Sam knows something or her boyfriend, Elliot?” Sarah suggested and after both of you said your goodbyes you ended the call. Then you decided to call your friend’s assistant, Sam, first and then her boyfriend.  
"This is Samantha Black. How can I help you?”  
“Hey, Sam, it’s (Y/N). Is Isla with you by any chance?” you curiously asked the young woman.  
“Erm…no, sorry. She send me a message, though. I think, wait a second… yea on Friday afternoon and she said she wouldn’t be able to work for the next week. Sorry, I couldn’t help you, (Y/N),” Sam replied with a sad voice.  
"It’s okay. Thanks anyways. See ya,” You answered and Sam hung up after she bid goodbye to you. You got more and more nervous with every passing second since this was an unlikely behaviour for your friend. She was usually never sick and even if she was, she would still answer her phone or at least send you a text. You ran your free hand over your face and through your hair, ruffling it up before you sighed. Don’t worry…maybe nothing happened and you’re just overreacting, you thought to yourself as you dialled Elliot’s number, Isla’s boyfriend and as well as a childhood friend of both of you.  
"Hey, (Y/N)! How can I help you?” his voice sounded through your phone.  
“Hey, Elliot. You don’t seem to know where Isla is, do you?” you got straight to your point.  
“No, sorry. But…you do know that we broke up, right?” he answered you.  
“What? No, I didn’t know that. When?”  
“A few weeks ago.”  
"When was the last time you saw her, Elliot?” you asked worried about your friend.  
"Last Friday I think. (Y/N)? Is everything alright? Did something happen?”  
“It’s kinda work related… We’re in Portland right now. Erm…there were several abductions in the area where she lives so I’m just worried. It’s probably nothing,” you said and tried to not alert Elliot. You being paranoid and worried sick about her was enough you didn’t need more people to worry.  
"Well…you could call Isla’s neighbour…what’s her name again? I think it’s Joanna Ferris, maybe you could call her?” Elliot proposed and you decide that it would be worth a shot. Maybe your friend was really just sick after all.

“Ferris?” the voice of an elderly woman rang out.  
“Hello, Mrs Ferris. This is (Y/N) (Y/L/N). I’m a friend of Isla Thompson and I was wondering whether you’ve seen her within the last few days?” you asked politely.  
”Ahh, (Y/N). Isla told me a lot about you. Well, I’m sorry, dear, but the last time I saw her was on Friday around noon. She said she wanted to go out for a walk. If it helps you, I got a spare key to her apartment. If you want to I could go and see if she’s home?“ Mrs Ferris suggested and you answered with a positive response before waiting a few minutes for the woman to enter your friend’s apartment.  
"Mhm…no, it doesn’t seem like she’s in her apartment. Looks like she hasn’t been home in a few days. Maybe she’s with her boyfriend?”  
“Yes, that’s a good idea. Thank you, Mrs Ferris,” you thanked her, not telling her that you already called her boyfriend, trying not to cause her to worry.  
"No problem. Goodbye, (Y/N).”  
"Goodbye, Mrs Ferris,” you ended the call and feel the tears prickling in your eyes. This cannot be happening, you thought and proceeded to walk back to the room where the rest of your team was in.

"I-I think we got a-another abduction…” you stuttered quietly, tears slowly filling your eyes as you move into the small conference room. Before anyone got the chance to say something, you quickly managed to collect yourself and continue explaining the situation.  
“Her name is Isla Thompson and she lives on 10th Avenue. She was last seen around Friday noon by her neighbour Joanna Ferris.” You finished telling the team everything you know about where your best friend was the last several days and finished with a small whispered “We need to find her.”

After discussing what to do next, Emily approached you and said softly, “(Y/N), you realise that I cannot allow you to work on this case, right?“  
You nodded your head.  
"Yes, I know. I have an emotional connection to this case now, I get it. Should I fly back to Quantico or…,” you trailed off but Emily shook her head in denial.  
"You can stay here in the hotel just in case we may need you.” She smiled softly at you and dismissed you afterwards. Over the years you worked for the FBI and with Emily first as your colleague and now as your boss, she seemed to see you more as a family member than a colleague, thinking about it, the entire team usually seemed more like a small family. After you quickly packed up your belongings, you decided to head back to the hotel and try to rest for a bit and maybe later go for a run to clear out your mind.

Later that day you put on some workout clothes and went for a run around the nearby park, which laid almost directly next to the hotel, in hopes of clearing up your thoughts. After you were warmed up, you put on some music to drown out the surrounding noises and began to jog your way through the park. About 30 minutes later you choose to head back to the motel because it was getting close to sundown and let’s be honest: being alone in an unknown park in the dark was creepy and probably not the best idea in the world, especially with a kidnapper and murderer on the loose. When you arrived back at the motel you just saw a mess of brown curls with his trademark messenger bag disappear into a hallway and you quickly ran after him.  
“Hey…,” you huffed out, slightly breathless from the sprint.  
“Hi…You went for a run?” Spencer asked, pointing at the clothes you were currently wearing.  
“Yea, I needed some fresh air and clear up my head, you know?”  
“Well, I’m not really an athletic person. I would probably just read,” he chuckled at you as you both reached the part of the hotel which was reserved only for the BAU team.  
"Understandable. I would’ve done the same but I just couldn’t focus. So… I went for a run,” you trailed off, not wanting to bring up the topic why you were that unfocused. As you reached your door you quickly bid Spencer a good night and immediately went to grab your pyjamas and hopped into the shower just to go to bed after eating a quick dinner.

The next morning you woke up early after a short night despite not having to work. You couldn’t fall asleep the night before with all kinds of different thoughts going through your head and woke up way too early, your body used to waking up at that time to go to work. After tossing and turning, trying to find some more sleep, you decided to give up. So you got dressed and hoped that you might meet someone of the team at breakfast which you did but the conversation wasn’t that eventful since they weren’t allowed to tell you anything about the case and you couldn’t get your mind off of it. So after JJ and Kate left to go to the station you went up to your room and tried to continue the book you started a few days back.

An hour later you still seemed to be stuck on the same page so you decided to stop and find another activity to distract you. You tried watching TV, taking a nap, played nearly every game on your phone but in the end, nothing worked. You even tried to find some information about the missing woman so your mind would be at least a bit satisfied. But in the end, the hotel room was beginning to feel smaller and smaller any minute. You needed fresh air. After putting on your workout clothes, you took out your phone, plugged in your headphones and turned on your music. As soon as you were properly stretched and warmed up, you began to jog your way to the park you went to yesterday.

Losing track of time, you didn’t notice that you were trailing away from the main paths, getting to a more abandoned part of the park. Good news was that the whole park was under video surveillance and it wasn’t dark outside yet so it wasn’t that creepy. But after hearing a loud crunching noise behind you, you turned off your music to be able to focus on your surroundings more. You speed up to get back to the more lively area of the park as the noises get louder. But when you felt something hit your head, you collapsed to the ground, only to scramble back to your feet and spin around to face a tall man holding a baseball bat in one hand. He ran to you and, before you could react, tackled you to the ground and pressed his hands against your throat. Your feet kicked around and your hands searched for something to throw against his head. You tried to scream for help but the only thing that came out was a strangled groan. But then, as you managed to lift your leg up, you hit the attacker in his groin and he fell back clutching it. You quickly tried to stand up, kicking back while doing so, hitting your attacker in his face. However you victory was shortlived when you felt a hand around your ankle, pulling you back onto the ground. The man moved to sit on your legs, making it harder for you to get away and pressed his hands against your throat again. You attempted to get away again but with your oxygen supply being cut off it was getting harder and harder every second. As you began to feel dizzy and saw black spots dance around your vision you collected your last strength to try and push the male away. Unsuccessfully. Consciousness slipped through your fingers like silk and the last thing you saw before passing out was the evil smirk your kidnapper gave you.


	2. Part II

You woke up gasping for air, darkness surrounding you. When you tried to get up from the metal chair you were sitting in, you realised that your wrists and ankles were chained to it, limiting your mobility to nearly nothing. You tried tugging on your restrains but it didn’t bring you any further, they didn’t bother to budge. The eerie quietness around you was interrupted by an earth-shattering scream in the room next to you.  
As time passed by you continued to hear screaming and hushed talking around you but even when your eyes adjusted to the darkness, all you could see were shapes and shades. You didn’t know how much time had passed but when all the lights were turned on, you were blinded by the sudden intense brightness.  
“Look, look. Sleeping Beauty finally woke up,” you heard a deep voice.   
“So, Special Agent (Y/L/N), or should I call you doctor…mhmm,” the owner of the voice stepped closer to you, taking your jaw in his hand, “what shall we do to you?”  
Now that your eyes slowly adjusted to the brightness you could see his face shocked by who you saw in front of you.   
“Elliot?” you chocked out quietly but loudly enough for him to hear you.   
“Oh, (Y/N), always the slow one, aren’t we? Yes, it’s me. Surprised? Yea, I killed all these women. They all deserved it, every single one of them. Even Isla does. But don’t worry she’s still alive. Well at least for now…”   
While he was talking another man stepped into the room, pulling a small cart behind him but you, unfortunately, couldn’t see what was laying on it.   
“Now…I think you already heard the things I did to the others. And now it’s your turn.” And with that, the torture began.

After hours of being punched and beaten up, still, all you did was wince and whine. Not once did you break and gave them the pleasure of hearing you scream or even bothered to say one word to them. As Elliot stepped back from you, the other man walked into the room again, this time with a video camera in one hand and a laptop in the other.   
“Let’s see how your lovely BAU team will react when they see you all beaten up and bloody, shall we?”   
Both of them set up the camera so it was directly pointed at you and then connected the laptop to it, turning it around so that you could see the screen and therefore soon the faces of your teammates. What you didn’t know at that time was that while you were passed out, Garcia flew out to Portland to help the team directly. You anxiously looked at the loading screen, hoping that nobody would answer because even though you couldn’t see yourself you guessed that you looked pretty bad just from how your face felt. But then all your hopes were crushed as you saw a blurry face framed with blond hair and bright pink glasses in the middle of it. You couldn’t see or hear clearly due to the swelling of your face and several hits on your ears but you still knew that it was your favourite tech genius and your guess was only confirmed when you hear a muffled gasp and Garcia calling out for the rest of the team. As you vision slowly cleared you made out the faces of your team, all of them looking shocked at the screen.  
“Well, now, that everyone is watching. I hope you all have a clear view of (Y/N) because you get to see her suffer. Now, (Y/N/N), what do you say, shall we continue? How about we take it up a notch, you didn’t seem to be hurting that much…,” he trailed off and took a knife off the cart beside him. You closed your eyes, preparing for the pain, as you heard the gasps and ‘no’s of your friends and colleagues. Then you felt a sharp pain along the side of your arm trailing down towards your hand. Elliot placed the knife on your right cheek and let it slide down to your collarbone, creating another cut, not as deep as the one on your arm but still hurting, stinging and burning like hell. After several moments of nothing, you opened your eyes, only to be greeted by Dean’s evil smirk and a sudden movement of his arm. You took a few seconds to realise that he just rammed his knife into your right leg and as soon as you felt the pain you began to let out a muffled scream.   
“Please, Elliot, please stop! I’m sorry for whatever I did. I’m sorry but please stop. I-I..it hurts…please,” you began to beg although you knew he wouldn’t stop. Not until you were dead.   
“Oh, (Y/N),” he shook his head at you, “you should know that people like me don’t just stop. No, I won’t stop until I got what I want.” Before you could respond to him, your head got hit with a hard object, immediately causing you to pass out again.

Everything around you was blurry as you woke up again. Weird colours and shapes surrounding you as you slowly regained your consciousness. The blurriness started to fade away after several minutes and as you looked down you noticed something sticking in your arm. Your look trailed up just to land on an injection bag filled with a clear liquid. Your mind was too foggy to actually think of what could be inside the bag so you let your hand hang low again, trying to block out your dizziness. You didn’t pay attention to the hushed talking coming from the laptop that was still standing in the room, or the person sitting in a chair next to you, and neither did you pay attention to the people walking into the room. Then, suddenly, your head was jerked back, over the backrest of your chair, by your hair and you looked straight into Elliot’s face.   
“You got to be thirsty, (Y/N)…How about a little refreshment?” After he said that, water poured into your mouth with such major pressure, that you couldn’t swallow any of it and slowly started to feel like you were drowning. Water was spluttering out of your mouth and after he stopped you tried to gasp for air but only ended up bending over and coughing up some of the water that had entered your body. Your lungs felt like they were on fire, tears streaming down your face at the pain and your helplessness. You hated feeling like this, all you wanted was for this to be over.  
“Oh poor, little (Y/N/N). How are you enjoying yourself so far?” Elliot let a finger trail over your cheek, running it over the dried blood from the cut, causing you to flinch away. Just him touching you disgusted you, let alone the thought that you used to consider him to be your friend. Gladly, he turned away from you rather quickly to the other person in the room. Their head was covered with a woven bag but when Elliot pulled it off you let out a strangled gasp. Next to you sat your close friend, her face swollen, bruises of all sorts of colours covering her face, small cuts all over her body. Her face was drained of all colour, skin glistening due to the layer of sweat that covered her, thin strands of her hair clinging to her forehead.  
“Isla…” you breathed out and your friend looked up when she heard her name. She looked completely shocked but when she went to open her mouth and say something all the came out were strangled noises.  
“Ah, ah. No talking, you two. Now, (Y/N), here’s the part where it finally get’s exciting for you,” Elliot pulled out a gun, pointing it at your head. You could hear a scream coming through the laptop, most likely from Penelope, when Elliot’s assistant pulled up a cart beside Isla.  
“I’ll let you choose, do you want Rick here to punch your friend or use a knife on her? Choose wisely, (Y/N), and don’t think you can trick me, either choose or I’ll shoot you.” Isla shook her head at you, knowing you’d rather die than causing your friend any pain. Tears streamed down your face as Elliot counted down from ten, rushing you to make a decision.   
“Three, two”-you heard the gun cocking-“on-“  
“Punch her,” you sobbed out, voice breaking as the words left your mouth.

To say you were ready to give up would’ve been an understatement. You couldn’t take this anymore, screams leaving your body as electricity shot through you, making you feel like you were being set on fire. All you wanted was to pass out but every time you were close to losing consciousness Elliot stopped the generator that was causing you all this pain. You were panting, sweat covering your entire body, exhaustion taking over you, when you heard a loud bang from somewhere above you. Looking up you saw Elliot’s panicked expression, searching for his gun before the door to the room you were held captive in was kicked open, revealing what looked like an angel to you. Derek was followed by Spencer and JJ, all of them training their guns on Elliot who in return kept his’s aimed at you.  
“Elliot Montgomery put down the gun!” Derek yelled, anger in his voice as clear as a freshly cleaned window. Your kidnapper lowered his hands but before your friends could react he hit the button of the generator again, electric shocks flowing through your body. Distinctly you could hear shots being fired but your senses were dominated by pain, white, hot, burning pain. Only when Spencer ran over to your shaking body, deactivating the power source, you felt relief flooding over you. Derek and JJ helped free your body from the restrains while the rest of your team entered the room, Isla and the other girl that had been kidnapped already in the hands of the paramedics. As soon as your wrists and ankles were free your body fell forward into Spencer’s arms, not having the power to keep yourself up anymore, your muscles more than sore from everything you went through the last two days.  
“I got you. You’re safe now, (Y/N),” Spencer whispered as your body slowly gave out, your eyes closing, fatigue taking over you.


	3. Part III

You had to stay in the hospital for two weeks. Two long, boring weeks. Your friend Isla had to stay longer, her injuries worse than yours.  
Lucky for you, Spencer was allowed to stay with you in Portland, making the time pass much quicker as he read to you and distracted you from your thought. However, you found yourself wishing he’d be with you at night as well when the demons came out to play, flashbacks and nightmares keeping you from getting a good amount of sleep each night. When you got released from the hospital you immediately flew back to Quantico with Spencer, him carrying your luggage and helping you wherever he could. He offered to stay with you for some time which you agreed to, glad that he would be helping you out. And although you appreciated his help, you fell into a deep, dark hole, nightmares interrupting your sleep and hallucinations keeping you awake.  
Tonight was no difference, you were trying to keep yourself away by reading a book you’ve been meaning to get to for a while now but ended up passing out, your eyes closing as you drifted off to sleep.

Spencer was sleeping in your guest room, working on some paperwork since Emily allowed him to stay away from work as long as he got some files filled out. It was 1 am when he felt himself getting tired, deciding to put away the file and head to your bathroom to brush his teeth and get ready for bed. As he passed your bedroom he could hear quiet sobs and mumbling coming from behind it, alerting the agent. Upon opening the door he found you laying in your bed, asleep while tears were rolling down your face, a thin layer of sweat covering your face as you tossed and turned.  
“Hey…(Y/N), it’s okay, wake up,” he sat down on your bed, softly stroking your arm. You woke up with a gasp, sitting up in your bed while you furiously wiped away your tears.  
“Wanna talk about it?” Spencer interrupted the silence in your room.  
“I hate feeling like this, Spence,” you sobbed, breaking Spencer’s heart with the sight of your shaking form, ”I hate feeling helpless, like my world is going to crash down around me any second. I hate these nightmares keeping me awake, I just want this to end, I can’t take it anymore.”  
“Don’t say that, (Y/N). I’m here, you got people that care about you, he can’t hurt you anymore, no one can. I won’t allow it, I care too much about you to let that happen…” he trailed off, his gaze never leaving you, eyes locked on yours.  
“Spencer, I…thank you, so much. Thank you for helping me through this, thank you for everything.”   
While you were speaking your faces slowly moved closer towards each other, his breath fanning over yours.  
“Can I kiss you?” Spencer whispered, not wanting to scare you away. But there was no need to, you nodded your head, more than eagerly, only for the movement be interrupted by Spencer’s soft lips on your slightly dry ones. He leaned forward a bit, one hand supporting his body while the other gently rested on your cheek, his thumb wiping away your tears from before.  
“Please stay with me tonight…” you mumbled as you parted, not wanting to be alone in this moment.  
“I will, don’t worry. I won’t leave unless you want me too.”  
He crawled into your bed beside you, pulling the blanket over both of you before softly hugging you to his chest.

A few days later you were allowed to go back to work, greeted with a warm welcome from your friends and colleagues who were all happy to have you back. And while you weren’t allowed to actively join the team on cases you were more than happy to have a task again, getting back into your normal routine. You and Spencer tried to hide your blossoming relationship from the team, you really did, but every time you looked at the other a smile spread over your faces, eyes filling with love and adoration to the point even a blind person would’ve been able to see what was going on between the two of you. It didn’t take a long time until the teasing started, at first from David and Luke and eventually, everyone joined in but Spencer and you couldn’t care less, you were too in love with each other to get annoyed at them. You felt at home with your team, your friends, you felt like you belonged. They helped you through your ups and downs, especially in situations like these, they were always by your side, gave you a feeling of safety and comfort on bad days, listening to your problems and helping you where they could. You were going to get better, with the help of your team and the help of your boyfriend. Everything was going to be okay.


End file.
